A Story

Part 1 - Mistake

Author: Wolfslut

The party started like a light fun game, I was excited. Everyone had been preparing for this dinner
for weeks, the hostess had been driving everyone crazy with orders about what to wear, when to
arrive, what to bring! Me especially, for whatever reason she doesn't trust me to dress well, look
representable or to be on time apparently (ok that one I can understand, Time and I have never had a
stable relationship)!
Master was invited too, not together with me of course, hostess doesn't know about us. It was the
evening before our anniversary, an anniversary which despite our best efforts we weren't spending
together. But he was making it as special as he could given the circumstances and I really appreciated
that, so I played along and accepted the challenge. My task was to place my thong into the washing
machine in the bathroom and he would take it out and cum on it, then I could wear it again - key: no
one should suspect. I was so nervous. So much could go wrong, the flat was small, there were tonnes of
people and some of them already suspicious of the two of us, and sperm has a strong smell, and Master
well.... is not a quiet man. My heart was in my mouth when his wife went to knock on the door of the
the bathroom when he just took much too long in there! Yup and that makes me pause too......his WIFE!
What am I doing again? How did I end up having a second anniversar y with a married man?? Have I
no morals at all? I must be some sick desperate woman, a disgrace. The type of woman the heroine
always uncovers, humilliates and destroys, the kind of character that I usually despise and want to see
pulled down, rejoicing in the heroines victory. The really sad thing is that his wife is the heroine, not
me, I'm just that slut who is stealing her husband. At this point my head screams STOP! And I do. My
little Reporter tells me that there is no point in tearing myself up about it if I'm not willing to give him
up. And I'm not. I should. But I can't and I don't want to either, he is everything, my bright star, my
soulmate, my Master. My addiction.

It's a risky game we are playing, it always has been. As my norm when we are out with our friends and
his wife....(NO, you are not going into that again! Says my strict Reporter stamping her foot!) I choose a
guy (the only guy who is single and not a collegue in this case) and flirt like crazy so wifey and collegues
notice, relax and think Awwwww she likes him! I'm ok with this, I like flirting. It's a thrill. It gives a sense
of power I don't often have and I like to push that boundary, to see how far I can go.....can I really make
a guy want me that much? A guy who knows nothing about me? I have never yet really tried that. Never
had the guts. Never had a one night stand. Still not comfortable with them.

At first it's just a glance across the room. I'm hesitant. I'm not sure how much my friend likes this guy.
But she gets steadily drunker and drunker, soon it's clear there is no chance she will try anything with
him tonight, good. So I up my act and boldly sit beside him. And in that moment Switchy fly flickers
and the parts of me that I keep blindfolded around my collegues and Master's wife - the me that exists
only for my Master, the me that would simply not be able to be here at all without tearing my heart to
morsels ,the me that digs a hole in the ground and hides on a bed of thorns each time his wife shows
up, yes me, my essence, my being - gets a sharp sting and is sedated, unconsious, safe. The only way
to survive what follows! Switchy knows from experience and has a potent sting. But what's left while I
sleep?

I wrote down the rules of the card game we are all playing (as I'm to remind people as the game goes
on) in my most messiest hand writing and this piece of paper is an important part of our flirt. We keep
passing it between us and as we do so,hands touch and arms brush. A wild thought occurs to me, I know
what this guy wants, that's obvious, he's horny and hasn't been with anyone for weeks, I want to see
how far I take this, can I make him really want me? I'm curious. As per normal, forward planning doesn't
occur to me, with hindsight, this would have been a good point to set out an aim, like a place where I
know I should stop, for example: stop when he offers to go home with you or wants your number. Also
this would have been a sensible point to message my Master with a plan, or better yet, ask for one! Or
just to clarify things. I'm either too drunk (though I don't feel drunk) or Switchy fly switched sensibility
off too, but none of that happens. Nope, I just plough on blindly, wrecklessly without an aim at all.....just
following - I'm not sure what.

Soon my foot brushes him as he sits down, and his hand brushes against my leg. And before I know it,
his hand is resting on my leg, on my hand, on my foot or when I get up he pats my arse. And what is
my hand doing? Oh, my fingers have found a place at his back where his shirt and pants meet and they
are stroking there, just a small patch, teasing. I realise eventually that it's inappropriate and it's too far
for me too, so I stop. But it's too late by then. Guy has picked up on signals and zones in. Guy takes my
phone and is saving his number and calling himself before I even realise what he is doing. Why oh why
do I keep my phone unlocked? When did I have that insane idea that it would be less suspicious if I only
locked a few of my more important apps instead of the whole phone? Fool, fool, FOOL!

Evening wears on, people grow sleepy. Master leaves with his beautiful wife. Awkward goodbyes,
always hate them, especially cheek to cheek kisses, so fake. A few of us stay. Guy makes it clear he
wants me home with him. I say no. That was never ever part of my nonexistant plan. No no no. Then he
suggests I go to the bathroom with him.....erm to do what??? This is still a 50 sqm flat still relatively full
of people, what the fuck?! Does he think no one would notice if we together vanish to the bathroom?
Puzzled I ask what he wants. He says all innocently, to kiss you perhaps. Ok I can deal with that. A kiss
I can do. But not in the bathroom. I tell him that, really you want to kiss in the bathroom? He says he
does since I don't want to go home with him. But I have to walk my friends home I promised I would. Oh
no problem, I'll walk with you. Damn. That didn't work. Ok lets get this over and done with, he can walk
me to the tram, kiss on the way and then bye bye. But what if I can't get rid of him? Sensibility kicks in
all too late and as I try to stall the leaving by getting everyone to clean up (our hostess is passed out on
the sofa) I message Master for a permit I don't want to have. I don't want to use. But it's a back up just
incase. I would much rather go against my instincts and my own wishes with his blessing then without.

With so many people the cleaning up is done much too soon and I've run out of time, we are in the lift,
we are outside on the pavement. Good bye hugs (much more friendly) and I'm fumbling with a last
message to Master.....trying to explain why I can't pick up the phone to him when there are people
around who are able to recognise his voice! Like I said, Master is not quiet, his voice would blast out of
the phone and echo around the quiet street like a gong, cannot allow that! Texting is very difficult when
Guy is trying to read over my shoulder, or block my way as I try to walk. I give up. And i give in. As soon
as the phone is in my pocket, Guy grabs me and kisses me. As I kiss him back a part of me hopes for
some fireworks, for something to happen, to prove to me that Master is not the One, that I'm not totally

fixated on him. But nope, fireworks don't happen. I'm empty, I feel nothing for Guy, I could be kissing a
piece of paper for all I care. And I'm panicking about Master's reaction, I know he's mad, sedated Mothy
is tingling in her sleep - electric currents silently going about her execution. My Reporter reasons with
me: Switch it off girl, don't think about Master now, focus on getting to the tram, you are in trouble no
matter what but worrying will not help. Act a little longer for Guy, go to the tram and go home. Switchy
obeys and turns the volume down on panic and up on teasing. And we make slow progress. I can get him
but a few paces ahead at a time before he demands and other kiss, or a hug. He keeps pulling my hands
out of my pockets and placing them on his arm or waist. I take the hint. At one point he pushes me into
a door way and I'm actually scared: I cannot back out here, I don't have enough space to manouver to
get out of his grip. Shit! Cornered I'm instantly claustrophobic. Eventually it's my voice that wins.
Apparently no, I really have a bus to catch does the trick, he sighs, steps back and I walk away from him
avoiding his eyes. Of course only till he catches up with me and stops me for a kiss again. Flirting, kissing
and teasing we finally get to the tram and gods damn it the ruddy yellow machine pulls out just as we
get there, why? Gods making things difficult for me no doubt. At the tram stop time is just too slow, I
know it's 15 minutes till the next tram at this time of night, but this feels like weeks. Every few seconds
I'm checking for the tram. Guy can see that. I try and make up for it by being flirty and teasey. Absent
mindedly I run my hands along his trouses front a few times. He likes that. He is confused though, no
surprise: one minute I say no I'm not having sex with him tonight, the next I'm touching him. I tell him,
sorry, I'm that kind of mean. Misery likes company? I'm certainly feeling miserable...He asks what do I
want? I tell him I want to get on my tram and go home. He doesn't like that answer. Keeps talking about
taxis, and then about tomorrows, and about sex tomorrow, trying to get me to agree. I don't.
Long last the tram smoothly slides in behind us and I take my leave. Not even sure what I said at leaving,
I 'm not paying attention to him anymore, I left long ago. As the tram leaves I blow him a kiss and then
take out my phone. Flight mode?!! Really?? Now??? Gods, tell my how????! Quickly I switch flight
mode off I must have switched on accidentally as I fumbled with my phone in my hurried texts, of all
the things to get me from the frying pan into the fucking volcano! Dreading what angry messages I'll find
in my 3G absence...I start dealing with the trouble I've caused. Turns out it has to wait. Master is
ignoring me. I guess I deserve no less. Heavy hearted, exhausted, I start listening to my music. Replying
to the occassional text sent by Guy and resolve to leave Mothy asleep for a little longer. Don't want to
breakdown just yet. A long walk home awaits me, the length is not shortened by Guy when he rings me.
I think the main topic of the conversation is why I think his bed just wont like me at all therefore I really
cannot jump in a taxi right now. But I'm really not sure. I'm not really listening. Home. Bed. Sleep and at
long last Switch joins Mothy in blissful oblivion.

My dreams are laced by a sad song I know well:

"....I wish it wasn't always cold
I wish I wasn't always alone
When the party is over,
How will I get home?
And all you need to know is

I'm so sorry, it's not like me
It's maturity that I'm lacking

So don't, don't let me go
Just let me know that growing up goes slow....."
(Song excerpt is from Christina Perri - Sad Song http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SO4kIEIiQOg. From her
Lovestrong Album http://www.christinaperri.com/album/lovestrong/)